Don’t Shoot ‘Em, But...

 

I used to toss out the phrase "Shoot ‘em" when I’d encounter people acting badly. Usually theirs wasn’t a heinous offense in the general scheme of things; not like invading foreign countries or torturing prisoners.

I stopped using the phrase because I found I was resorting to it far too often and because I was concerned, what with the Patriot Act, that I might be arrested by some tightly-wrapped fed who doesn’t appreciate some loose hyperbole.

But several recent stories in the news have me checking the virtual papers for a Wal-Mart ammo sale. There are folks out there doing stupid things who ain’t ever gonna learn better.

Let’s start with the Army. They claimed a vet who lost an arm in Iraq hadn’t filed the proper paperwork and so owed the military a coupla grand. The soldier didn’t even have the carfare to get home from Ft. Hood in Texas to Middletown, New York. His wife called up the chain of command, screaming. They asked why the soldier wasn’t making the case himself. She responded, "Because on some level, he still respects you. I don't have that problem." The wife also told the story to the media. Local Congressfolks jumped on the story and the Army backed off.

In the City of Brotherly Love, a 10-year-old girl was handcuffed and hauled off to the pokey because she brought a pair of scissors to her elementary school. She didn’t threaten anyone with them; the scissors were discovered in the girl’s bag during a search of students’ belongings after something went missing from a teacher’s desk. Deciding the girl hadn’t committed a crime, the police let her go, but school officials suspended her for five days and will hold a hearing to decided if she should be expelled to a special disciplinary school.

Finally, there’s the enterprising $6.15-an-hour Burger King employee who was told she could have the 50-pound 10-foot SpongeBob Squarepants balloon that had been on the grease-pit’s roof. She sold it on eBay for $1,025. When the media wanted to talk with her, her boss told her not to, and also insisted that she return the balloon. She refused, saying, "I really like my job at Burger King. But I just couldn't give back the SpongeBob." She was fired.

And that’s SetonnoteS...I’m Tony Seton.

 

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