Bits & Pieces
Bits and pieces from this reporter’s notebook
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....The insurance commissioner for the state of Louisiana has been convicted of corruption. Now you might say, And....? Especially to someone in California where The Notorious Quack — recently resigned insurance commissioner for the Golden State Charles "Chuck" Quackenbush — may have shown the way, doling out huge sums of money he extricated from insurance companies to family, friends, and hangers-on. No, the reason why the Louisiana conviction is news is because it is the third consecutive insurance commissioner to be convicted. Not only is one guy a crook, but so is his successor and his successor. Kinda takes the bloom off that public service rose.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Someone has figured out a way to capitalize on PMS. The trick was to call it something else, but treat it with essentially the same ingredients. The new name is PMDD, which stands for pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder. If you look up dysphoric, you’ll find it defined in my dictionary as "An emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, and restlessness." Bang-zoom, we have a winner. Of course, the solution is to keep popping pills and sending your husband on a five-day errand.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....California’s Eminence Gris, that is, Governor Gray Davis, is looking to make political hay by reducing the state’s sales tax by a quarter of a percent. You’ll have to blow your own fanfare, ‘cause in the real world, that ain’t gonna mean a lotta money in anyone’s pocket, except of course, as always, the wealthy. Figure it out: if you spend $20,000 a year on state-taxable items, you’re gonna save yourself all of $50. Spend $100,000, and you’ll have another $250 to drop on a small tub of caviar. That’s what happens when you’re talking about a four hundredth of anything.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Some public schools systems have decided that the homework burden is getting too great. They think assigning six hours a night is too much for a high-schooler, and are also talking about cutting back homework for third graders, some of whom have two hours of homework every night. Hello? Has anyone noticed that while the homework burdens have been dramatically increased, performance has not. With all due respect to those who judge education by the hours of assigned homework, let me say this. I went to one of the very tippy top prep schools in the country, and we did not have such onerous schedules. Perhaps if the teachers were doing their job, more would be accomplished in the classrooms. Regardless, anything over four hours of study a night for any student pushes the bounds of credibility.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Finally, a local attorney more recognized for his considerable girth than the range of his thinking scored another hit on reason the other day. In defending a client who is charged with a trailer-trash killing-for-hire, the lawyer said, "We’ve got allegations of an assassination company existing, allegations that large sums of money were to be paid for the killing of some individuals — far above what I know the going market rate to be." Breath-taking.
And that’s SetonnoteS...I’m Tony Seton.