Bits & Pieces
Bits and pieces from this reporter’s notebook.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....The local fishwrap that would pretend — in vain — to be a newspaper had bottomed out again. Why, you might ask, if I complain so incessantly about this birdcage liner do I read it? And the answer, to be blunt, is that Linda checks the obituaries to see if any of her deadbeat clients has checked out. The other day, above an old story about the right to sell Nazi memorabilia on the Internet, they carried the following headline: Yahoo! fights for Reich to sell.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....John Lindsey died last week. Once again demonstrating their depth, the local euphemism referred to him as the dapper mayor, oh so handsome. They didn’t bother to mention that the racial strife that set many American cities ablaze in 1965 was quelled in New York City because John Lindsay walked through the streets of Harlem, keeping the peace and preserving order. Nor did they mention that Lindsey broke with his Republican Party and won a term on the liberal line. Lindsay was a courageous man, who if not brilliant, provided a quality of leadership that was all but forgotten through the succession of Beame, Koch, and Dinkins.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Speaking of succession, George Bush was at the White House the other day, paying his respects. Now ain’t that touch one to swallow. Anyway, he told Slick Willie that he welcomed any advice his predecessor might offer, and Billy Jeff told him, "Get a good team. Do what you think is right." Eight years in the White House and he can’t do better than that?
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....The fellow who lives at the bottom of the road has made his annual paean to the season. He’s nailed a Santa Claus figure to the tree by his driveway. Ole St. Nick is standing there smiling and waving, right below the "No Trespassing" sign. Merry Christmas, and stay out.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Got another offer to sign up on AOL. I’m already forking over $263.40 a year to these people, but apparently it’s easier for them to mail to everyone who has a postal address. The latest plan would allow me 700 free hours in the first month. Let’s see, if I took full advantage of the offer, that would allow me all of 20 hours in that first month for everything else.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Another brilliant advertising campaign is Remington’s TCT. No, not the firearms manufacturer but the electric shaver. They now have — and you should probably be standing when you read this — Total Closeness Technology. Aside from the fact that their shavers leave enough stubble to smooth pumice, ya gotta wonder if they are advertising only to idiots, or they are trying to rope in people with pity.
Da-deet-da-deet-da-deet-deet....Finally, NASA has concluded that Ganymede, Jupiter's largest moon, may possess a huge salt-water ocean beneath its crusty surface. In a bid to increase their funding of mindlessly expensive and pointless space projects, scientists at the space center are working on a proposal for the new Bush Administration to send 10,000 people from Miami-Dade County in Florida to colonize the region.
And that’s SetonnoteS...I’m Tony Seton.