Black ‘n White and Read All Over
"It’s not funny," Linda declared from another room. She was talking about me reading the newspaper in the living and every now and then laughing out loud. She meant that the news wasn’t written to be funny, and the news itself was nothing to laugh about. She was right, of course. Maybe I was just tired.
It was Sunday evening, and I had flown over to the coast and back through a demanding crosswind that made flying a real exercise, as invigorating as it was. When I got back, I picked up some fencing material and got home with enough light left to cut it to size and put it up where it was supposed to be. This, from a fairly ordinarily sedentary guy.
But in truth, what I was laughing about wasn’t funny...not in the ho-ho sense. Rather I was reacting to the normal curiosities reported in the newspaper. Maybe because there are so many people on the planet, there are many people acting in mindlessly questionable ways. Like the prison guard and the prisoner he helped escaped were discovered hiding in the guard’s trailer. I mean, one, where would be the best place not to hide, the guard’s trailer, and two, doesn’t it seem just like a bad movie script, played out by two useless if fellow human beings who came to the end of their stage directions.
There was story about a bankrupt family of seven who got $130 from a stranger at a shopping mall, and anyone thinks that’s gonna make a difference.
Or the story about adventurer, as they call him, Steve Fossett who had to turn back from trying to cross the Atlantic, this time in a boat. He’d been using a balloon for a while there. I guess what bothers me about his behavior is that relentless pursuit and dedication are fine qualities, when they do not reach obsessive, but wouldn’t it be grand if they were applied to something useful. To create something or to build something; spurious records aren’t about anything but ego.
Sometimes I think the newspaper is printed almost as much for my entertainment as my elucidation. And maybe I’ll find out because the local paper has hired a new city editor to keep me current on events. He might start by talking with whoever writes the headlines, like this one in the home section of the Saturday paper, topping a column by an interior designer, quote, Books aren’t just reading material — they’re decor. Oh, they’re for reading, too? How quaint. Almost funny.
But how does one explain all this to a wife in another room? "Honey, it was the dog!"
And that’s SetonnoteS...I’m Tony Seton.
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