Pyrrhus in Palm Beach
Let’s start with the observation that no one is gonna like the result, and that probably half the country is gonna feel like they got cheated. Even half of those flag-wrapped whiners who were eligible to vote but didn’t bother to cast a ballot are gonna complain it ain’t fair. And they’re probably right. Let’s just toss out the whole voting thang, and Slick Willie can get this third term after all. Unless the ever effervescent Clintonette, fresh from the Lazio laugher, thinks she’s ready to self-install at the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue. I mean, think of the saved moving costs. And some of Billy Jeff’s Hollywood friends could buy the house in Westchester for ten mil, and that way they could help the impeachment escapee to unload some of his legal bills. That doesn’t quite seem fair, either.
Okay, okay, The Boy from Hope is getting evicted on January 20th, and the question on a lot of minds is who’s going to replace him. The answer should be obvious, but let’s take the matter through its paces. First of all, making the presumption that final electoral election result will be decided in Florida — an iffy but not unreasonable presumption as of Thursday evening — then the question is, what is going to be the final count.
The recount is going to put Bush-Lite probably a few hundred votes over Gore. Then we get to wait another week for all of the overseas absentee ballots to come in. Since most are probably military votes, that should add a little bit to Dubya’s edge. Let’s say he goes up to a thousand votes, which the Republicans would think quite fair, thank you. Everything else being equal.
But it ain’t equal. It seems that a whole slew of the good citizens of Palm Beach County haven’t gotten to properly exercise their right to vote. The ballot they were given was clearly — and excessively — confusing. Apparently a considerable number of voters punched out the Buchanan hole when they thought that they were voting for Gore. This problem surfaced before the polls even closed, and when the numbers were tallied Buchanan walked away with a pile of votes that was much larger than any reasonable person could explain. To his credit — and this may be the only time I’ve been complimentary of the fellow — Buchanan himself said the numbers were screwy, but in keeping with his familiar character, he thought Gore and the voters should be stuck with the results.
Folks, this isn’t about whether the voters should have been able to understand the ballot. They didn’t. And the right to vote stands eminently higher than the responsibility for reading what was — to a lotta people — an unintelligible ballot. The right of the people to vote for their president also supercedes the lust of the campaign people for final results. If it takes another ten days to fix the problem, fine and dandy. At least it would be fair.
Also apparently due to confusion about the ballot, some 19,000 Palm Beachians double-punched their ballot, making them invalid. Most probably didn’t realize that their votes wouldn’t be counted. Yes, they should have asked for another ballot, but it can’t be denied that it was their intention as well as their right to vote. Doesn’t it seem fair that they should be given a chance to vote in a manner that will truly register their choice?
What’s the big deal about setting up another vote in the county next week? Florida officials say they aren’t going to certify the results until the 17th anyway. No, it’s not the way the plan was meant to run, but the twits who designed, approved, and printed the ballots screwed up, and the citizens should not be penalized for it.
Can you imagine the mob of campaign people and journalists -- most looking like hung-over basset hounds -- who would flock to the area? Every person in the county would be polled at least ten times. Mailboxes would be stuffed to bursting. The media would know every voter by name. And the boost to the economy would be enough to finance an invasion of Cuba.
Ya gotta think with the demographics of Palm Beach County and the massive shift from Buchanan to Gore that The Wooden One would quickly and definitively leap into the lead. Which would give him Florida, and presuming no other major startling recount changes took place, the Veep would get his boss’ job. And how the GOP will scream, that it isn’t fair. The invectives, the promises of reform and revenge — not in that order — will send them off in a feeding frenzy, trying to figure out how to look patriotic while tearing apart the Constitution.
Not that I’m rooting for Al. Goodness gracious, he’s not much better than Bush, and the two of them are showing their shallowness in the way they are mishandling the situation. Neither looks presidential, to say the least, which explains why neither got a majority of the vote. No, I didn’t expect that they would take my cue and come out together to announce that they were best friends. But you’d think maybe that they would make an intelligent public statement about the dynamic vitality of our process, how the vote of every citizen is sacrosanct, and that cool heads and two centuries of democratic governance will carry us through, again. George? Al?
No, Ralph, you go hide under a rock. You’re the turkey who made this all possible, and if there is any good that comes out of it, don’t wait for thanks. You blew a glorious opportunity to promote your cause, demonstrating in unequivocal fashion that your ego is the size of a Corvair, and just as steady in the curves. You are no better than those you scorned. If you were serious and thoughtful, you would have bowed out of the race last Friday, and thrown your support to Gore.
Ralph is not being honest with himself when he says he doesn’t see a difference between him and Bush. As pure as he may think himself to be, he isn’t being fair when he refuses to accept the general proximity of Gore’s ideas to your own. He could have been anointed king-maker, and accrued tremendous respect and power that would allow him and the Greens to help to shape the critical environmental decisions for at least the next term. Instead, he self-marginalized, and only the next president, whoever it turns out to be will start fresh from so far behind.
Yes, we need some revisions in the election game. People should find the actual voting process to be simple to understand and to execute, and their ballots should all be executed in a fashion that will allow them to be counted efficiently on election day. Of course, whatever the outcome and whatever the fix — no, let’s not flunk the electoral college just yet — the whole matter pales in comparison to the corruption of the system by special interest investments. Another area when Nader might have exercised the clout he squandered.
With the current leadership in both houses of Congress returning to the mix, it probably won’t matter a whit who’s in the White House. The gridlock will stiffen, the problems will worsen, and more people will give up on the system, just at a time when we desperately need for everyone to work together.
Maybe I need to hold a less jaundiced view. We are a truly inspired nation in a precarious search for a leader. Perhaps one will grow from deep down in the current compost. We can hope that whoever sidles in through the narrow back door at 1600 Pennsylvania will have enough of a spark of character which, fanned by the lofty winds of power, might actually grow into a revivifying light. Is there a plan B?
And that’s SetonnoteS...I’m Tony Seton.