The Silence of Sounds
Driving along the highway one day, I noticed that a set of keys was dangling from the lock of the passenger door of a Mercedes passing me on the left. I rolled down my window and got the attention of the woman in the passenger seat; she was well-turned out and over 55. I pointed to the keys, and I don't know what she thought I was doing, but her first response was to offer me her middle digit. Shaking my head, I persevered until she looked down and saw the keys, which she then retrieved. She didn't make eye contact again, but her husband mouthed a Thank-you to me.
It used to be that flipping someone off meant something. But in this fast-paced ever-changing world, the gesture has lost much of its meaning. Oh, not in polite society, of course, but certainly in the out-'n-about. And no, money doesn't mean manners, by any means.
I think that we have substituted loudness for meaning, and it is costing us our sense of culture. There is little dignity left. People no longer feel an obligation to present themselves in a decent manner in public.
Television is a disgraceful mess, and is probably responsible for the deplorable conduct that is epidemic today. It wasn't always that way. Linda was watching a television special the other night that featured Bob Hope and people like Jack Benny and Steve Allen. What a joy it was to see the alacrity of their minds. Not only did they generate a lot of laughter, but they did so with clean humor, and without shouting.
The other day, an NPR executive addressing a local luncheon shared the story of a CBS television correspondent who claimed that with radio, you could talk in a normal voice because the medium was more intimate, while with television, he said he said, you have to shout to be heard across the room.
Well, I just don't think that's true. With television, radio, or in person. Not if you're good. Not if you have something to say and know how to say it. But most people don't seem to know what they're talking about and seem to believe that saying it louder will cover up their ignorance.
The cellphone certainly has also contributed to the chaos. Where once people used to walk and drive in private silence, today they have phones attached to their heads, and they are speaking volumes at volumes that intrude into other people's spaces. At restaurants and in waiting rooms, too. It's not as loud, yet, when both sides of the conversation are present.
Maybe it's about listening, and the ever stronger impression I have that more people are concerned with how they present than how they are perceived. I-me-mine is first and second doesn't matter. My rights are paramount; my responsibilities don't matter. It's not a healthy attitude, but it seems increasingly common.
And that's SetonnoteS...I'm Tony Seton.
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