Wilds Too Wooly
There are years when the news seems to get wild and wooly right before the calendar flips and this seems to be one of 'em. Perhaps we can blame it on El Nino, which has dumped more rain on the area in just the past few weeks than it normally does in the six months season-to-date. Or maybe it's just that there are too many people on the planet and it has caused the Earth to spin crazily, leaving some people unable to hang on properly. Especially here in the North State, where it is particularly wild and wooly, all year 'round.
Fer instance, the cops stopped two guys for speeding at 1:30 in the morning, and 'cause they were actin' suspicious-like, they checked up to find that one guy was wanted on outstanding warrants; and when they checked out the car, they found drugs. Oops, guys. So they patted 'em down for weapons and handcuffed 'em behind their backs and put 'em in the back of a patrol car for a ride down to the jail. Now yer sayin', this ain't but hardly news, and yer right, so far.
But then stuff started happenin', as in, one of the guys who'd been patted down and was sittin' in the back of a patrol car with his hands cuffed behind his criminal sef fired a gun at the deputy sheriff driving the car. The deputy jumped out, the criminal fired more shots to bust out a window, through which he then climbed and got into the front seat of the patrol car and drove off into the night.
Well, they caught up with these guys later and another deputy sheriff was shot and one of the criminals escaped again, 'cause as the cops looked in one area, he'd high-tailed it in the other direction. Thank goodness he called a few hours later to turn his sorry sef in 'cause they'd still be lookin' for him in the wrong place. Anyway, the two deputy sheriffs weren't but minorly wounded, very thank goodness, and, as they say, an investigation is now underway into how any of this could have happened.
Also in the neighborhood -- okay, maybe slightly more boonies-fied -- comes the story of the Nephew Joshua who was upset with his Aunt Silvia and poked her in the head with a screwdriver. She might have died, but it would have been from loss of blood, since there was obviously no brain that might have been damaged, but she was saved by doctors who pumped blood into her and she's gonna be fine, as probably fine as she was.
But, relatively speaking, her nephew is in deep doo-doo. Even though it was his aunt's fault 'cause she wouldn't stop raggin' the boy. The headline is a clue: Beer selection led to hostility. According to the police report, Aunt Silvia wouldn't stop yelling at Nephew Joshua for buying Bud Light instead of Natural Light, and even though her sister rolled her wheelchair between 'em, the haranguin' continued until Nephew Joshua popped his flip-top. Joshua is 20 in a state where yer s'posed to be 21 to buy booze which maybe 'xplains why he bought the wrong suds, or why they have the law. He's pleading innocent, of course.
And that's SetonnoteS...I'm Tony Seton.
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