"Fragments" - Commentary by Tony Seton

Fragments

Call it a boon or a plague or something in between, but part of my make-up requires that I collect epistemological fragments, sorta like a fly-strip catches dust. Often these bits will languish on scraps -- of paper on my desk, of bytes in my WRK file -- causing sighs as I think maybe I should develop them, and then thinking it might not be worth the effort. So here’s a random dump designed to defrag my, um, drive.

First, this AP headline: "Affleck Doesn't Call J.Lo Fiance in Speech." They meant fiancée, one presumes, but still, why waste the space? Yes, I know that a lot of people do care, but they shouldn’t.

Second, passing by one of the myriad Walgreen’s -- here where lots of seniors have drug insurance -- I noticed that the marquee sign offered "get secnod for 1¢." I called the store and told them they probably meant "second." Dunno how long it had been that way; it could have been days.

Third, a local church marquee revealed that Sunday’s Sermon would be "Us against Them" and all are "Welcome." I wondered, when you walk into the church, do they ask on which side you want to be seated?

Fourth, a favorite wag said he discovered that the word "Hummer" is actually Arabic in origin, and it means self-indulgent rich guy who surrounds himself with all the comforts of war. A second meaning, he opines, is "small appendage."

Fifth, eerily reminiscent of another unpleasant time, Missouri’s senior U.S. Senator said that if his colleagues didn’t support the Bush plan to finance the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, and the one on terrorism, we’d be fighting the terrorists in Boston or Boise. Twenty years ago, one aging warrior warned that we’d fight the commies on the shores of Utah. That would have been some invasion.

Sixth, when I tried to check on-line to see if the wife’s late night flight was landing on schedule, I ran into a problem. Because it was already the next day in Chicago, where United is headquartered, their computer couldn’t handle the time difference and said that the plane -- which was in the air at the time -- hadn’t taken off. That’s a real confidence builder.

Finally, another headline: "New York Ferry Crash Pilot Lost Control." Well, yeah, but didn’t we know that already? I mean, this wasn’t a kamikaze attack on a Staten Island pier.

Sigh.

And that’s SetonnoteS...I’m Tony Seton.