SetonnoteS - 2001


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Closing Thoughts  (12/31/01)
I believe to my core that good will triumph, if for no other reason than it wouldn't make sense for this noble exercise of humanity to end otherwise. I also believe that we are approaching a dramatic turning point in how we conduct ourselves, both individually and as a community. I think we've gone over the falls, and it's whitewater to the horizon.

Bits & Pieces  (12/30a/01)
Speaking of ineptitude at the airports, UAL mechanics voted 99% to authorize a strike. It wasn't likely to happen, since the White House had signaled that the president was ready to order a mandatory cooling off period. Which makes it all the more foolish for the employees to make the threat. I mean, if you had a ticket to travel on United over the holidays, wouldn't you irate just at the thought they might strike? And wouldn't you wonder how good these mechanics could be if they acted so stupidly?

Government Media Control  (12/30/01)
I believe in government intervention, when it is informed, and when market forces control circumstances to the detriment of the public. In the area of media-slash-communications, the government has fallen down badly on the job. Their decisions have written a virtual blank check for the corporate powers to put on what they want with little or no oversight. The result has been the opiation of great masses of double-digit IQers who consume without producing, who think with their viscera, and are malleable to manipulators who sell them lies couched in action and painted with glitter.

Deep-Breath Time  (12/29/01)
But as with most places today, the trash level has risen, concomitant with the burgeoning population, and Southern California has gotten more than its share, in part because it’s close to the border of a poor nation, and because it also represents a beacon of opportunity to many in America. Tinseltown, orange groves, warm temperatures, and manifest destiny have attracted zillions to what might be a lovely spot, without all of the people. There’s not enough clean air or water to sustain those who have chosen to make Sprawlangeles their home.

Lifting the Tent Flap  (12/28/01)
There might be a break in Florida. A Saudi princess was arrested for beating her maid. Princess Buniah al-Saud, the 42-year-old niece of King Fahd, was charged with aggravated battery on her live-in maid, Memet Ismiyati, 36, an Indonesian citizen. The arrest was delayed while local officials checked on her claim of diplomatic immunity. Her embassy said yes, but our State Department said no, so she was pokey'd without bail on the felony charge.

That Slow China Boat  (12/27/01)
A man twenty-five years my senior was climbing his way back up the more arduous high road; he could have taken the low road, which is flat. I said, "Good afternoon," with appropriate vocal qualities to indicate my wish that it should be so for him, beyond the general observation of the day. He’d just finished a steep 100-yard hill, and was still in the process of regaining his full breath. He declared with a smile, "There is no boat to China today."

Early Admission  (12/26/01)
Henry is not only very bright — he aced Roxbury Latin School on his way to Cambridge — but he also is a jazz ace who plays at least two instruments; he paints, plays sports, and most important, he's a way-cool dude. He must get some of those qualities from his eccentric California uncle. Let's see...not the music, not the painting, not the sports, and not up to the level of way-cool. Hmm. Well, um, I took Latin.

Christmas Travel (2)  (12/25/01) *** Merry Christmas ***
Proof that this particular cross has my name on it alone is the fact this is Linda’s favorite time of year; she lights up like a Christmas tree. She gets to play and shop and bake, which she is wont to do, and I get to sit in the motel room, listening to classical music on the radio, keyboarding appropriate opprobrium at the worthy, and missing my dawg. Otherwise, my task is to wear a smiley face, which always lurks pretty close to the surface anyway, especially after a first blush of chardonnay — or Merlot or scotch or vodka — and inevitably, methinks, it will be a good time had by all.

Christmas Travel (1)  (12/24/01)
I could blame it on being in the Southland, that grotesque, plague-like sprawl that is known loosely as Los Angeles, where the synapses originate in the brain stem, and everyone seems to think (sic) that’s just fine. Get food, drive fast, look ridiculous. It’s kind of a religion; unspoken, devoutly if pervertedly worshiped, if you can believe without thinking. Hey, sounds like a plan, to people who would lead by the nose instead of the mind.

Bits & Pieces    (12/21/01)
The Perky One won, more because NBC didn't want to lose her to another network than she was actually that good, or really any good. She was more of a habit than a draw with many viewers, and that's how they decide things in television these days. Regrettably, Couric will be admired for scoring a big win, which makes you wonder why Anna Nicole Smith was castigated for her courtesan romp.

Random Observations   (12/20/01)
I think most people with double-digit IQs and a sense of decency would like to tell Saudi Arabia, Guys, you abuse women and teach terrorism. You are brutal and racist. For too long we have kow-towed to your unenlightened ways, because you have petroleum. How crude. Now, thinking more clearly, and convinced that we can develop solar energy successfully — as if on a wartime footing — we're telling you instead of drilling into your sand, go pound it.

Ashcroft, A.G.   (12/19/01)
Ashcroft is probably to the right of Bush and Cheney, though not by a lot. They like him because his reactionary iconoclasm gives them cover. My guess is that they will pay out as much rope as they can, until the loopy Ashcroft goes too far, and then they will let him "twist slowly, slowly in the wind" before they cut him down. After which they'll attack the Real Americans for having hounded him out of office. Crazy, huh?

Powerless Sagacity   (12/18/01)
What does our prandial sagacity have to do with the governor's race? It's probably not enough to say that California is likely to be the economic engine on which the country will ride out of the recession, whenever. Or that the state, when it was chugging along fat-dumb-and-sassy a year ago, was maybe the fifth largest economy in the world. Not that we formulate U.S. foreign policy, but we could certainly be looking harder into solar technology.

Items   (12/17/01)
The airlines have some strange way of doing things anyway, and the hepped up security consciousness pushed them over the edge. Southwest has a system whereby they randomly search a number of their passengers, which means going through the luggage which has already gone through airport security, and getting electronically frisked. Of the group we saw "selected" there wasn't one who fit a terrorist profile, at all. I'm told other airlines do this as well.

Bits & Pieces   (12/14/01)
Not likely to recover is Enron, which has been mowing down its employee ranks with a black-cloak'd scythe. Not everyone, however. The once substantial energy trader is going to pay $55 million to "persuade" 500 employees to stay for 90 days. That comes to $110,000 per hanger-on for the three months. Nice work if you can keep it, though the thousands of people who were pink-slipped don't have such generous feelings.

The High of Flight   (12/13/01)
It's difficult to describe the thrill of flying at the controls of a small plane. I make that qualification about pilots because there are some veteran airline jockeys who are probably bored out of their minds, at least most of the time. Indeed, my aviation guru lady — lady should probably come first — describes flying as hours of boredom punctuated by moments of terror. Audrey means the take-offs and landings. But she doesn't mean it about the boredom part.

De-Pranking Teens   (12/12/01)
Four Israeli teens are under house arrest for having created and distributed the Goner worm last week. Early estimates of the damage from their "prank" were in the $8 billion range but have been scaled back to about $5 million. The lower figure is ridiculous, considering the distribution of the virus. It took me five hours to get things back to normalish. The standard sentence for such a crime is five years, but only half that because they are juveniles.

Why Is Las Vegas?   (12/11/01)
It's difficult to adequately diss Las Vegas because most sentient beings wouldn't understand why it was necessary, while those who actually go there on purpose do so with vigor. In other words, the intentionals wouldn't begin to understand when I say that Linda and I spent sixteen hours in this sewer, almost half of it in our hotel room, and it felt like we were in a foreign country; a sick one, like Haiti or Bosnia. Built by gangsters, run by deprivers of the depraved, this is what Hell would feel like to anyone with a sense of decency, intellect, and hope.

All in the Details    (12/10/01)
Details, as in the re-opening of the Boston Strangler case. According to a new forensic report on one of the eleven rape-stranglings committed in the early 1960's and confessed to by Albert DeSalvo, he didn't do it. The DNA evidence is clear. It should also be noted that despite his confession, there was no physical evidence placing DeSalvo at the scene of any of the murders, he didn't look like the suspect described by witnesses, and he was never on the 300-name suspect list.

Commune-icate    (12/07/01)
There are a lotta folks out there who just don't seem to grok the essential concepts of communication. They think it's just about them, or they don't think at all. My hackles rise over a wide spectrum of failure, from the people who create forms with spaces that don't fit the required information, to those who haven't learned the how's and why's of email. And mostly, I can't stand people who don't hit the ball back over the net when it's their turn.

Judicious Overrides  (12/06/01)
Had the makers of the movie "Dumb and Dumber" been politically-minded, they might have thought to add dumbest. They would have been referring to the American military, of course. Not our actual soldiers-'n-sailors-'n-fly-boys, but the administrative side of the Five-Side Funny Farm. They were asked by the family of the American Airlines pilot whose plane was crashed into the Pentagon on September 11th if his remains might be buried in Arlington National Cemetery. They said no.

S'il Vous Plait  (12/05/01)
If they had known what they were doing, they would have said sure. Why not? They still make money on the deal, they make me happy, and the people who get the calendars are impressed, not only with our photography, but what They can do with color copying these days. And if she really did need to say no, the manager should have come over herself and given me some corporate nonsense about policy. At least they would have had a shot at keeping a customer.

Wild 'n Wooly  (12/04/01)
No, your honor, I was guilty, she said. But she took another shot at judicial patience, claiming that she had been coerced into pleading guilty by her attorney, J. Tony Serra, the notorious headline chaser. Serra says he might have been a tad forceful — why does he still have a license? — but the judge wasn't having any of it. Olson continues to give the anti-war movement a bad name.

Bits & Pieces  (12/03/01)
I do like that they are requiring that people who take these jobs be citizens of the good-ole USofA, which is a problem for 80% of the scanners today at SFO, who are mostly Filipino. They were so unhappy that they talked about a work stoppage on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, traditionally the busiest travel day of the year. They didn't, but had they, I would have deported the lot.

Knee-Jerk Notions  (11/30/01)
The current cloning discussion is bringing the loonies out of the woodwork. They're ready to shut down scientific research immediatement! because they think legions of Stepford wives may be climbing out of their pods to take over the species. And the fervent certainty of their insistence, which crosses the infamous "red flag" line, suggests that their concerns are not only baseless, but objectionable to the intellect.

Lay Enron Lay  (11/29/01)
Hey, ya lie down with dogs and you're likely to get up with fleas. Especially in the oil business -- considering that they are poisoning the world, hardly a moral recommendation -- and more especially in Texas, where ethics sits a rung below deep-thinking and clean air. Maybe I missed it, but I haven't heard a lot from Bush-Lite or Premier Cheney about Enron or Lay. Of course, what can they say, since they probably think that the worst Enron did was get caught.

The Problem Solver   (11/28/01)
It’s a feeling of exultation. Of victory celebrated with relief. Of a moral triumph, in addition to a strategic success. When the black clouds of doom are rolled back, and the sun first stabs through, then floods the valley with life. These are epiphanies, comparable to high school graduation or the excitement of early petting — whichever came first — and they define an important transition in life, from fear to courage. I’m speaking of course about the triumphant joy one experiences after overcoming a computer problem.

Show Biz Uglies   (11/27/01)
My money is on Riordan to beat Davis in November of Aught-Two, if the 71-year-old Republican's health holds out and His Eminence Grise stays his hairspray course. As for Burton and Brown, who need the spotlight like sharks need to swim to stay alive, they may change seats, but it's hard to see them wielding the same power, or enjoying the work, the way they did before.

Cheap But Plentiful   (11/26/01)
At the local Kneemen-Marxist — they still haven't taken down the Wal-Mart sign — people started lining up for the opening many hours ahead of time, and it was a cold night. In fact, all 600 spaces in the parking lot were full an hour before the doors opened. It sounds awfully lemming-like, in a sniffing-rodent kinda way, and you'd have to think that if someone in charge were looking at some easy cuts in the population, little would be lost by sucking this crowd right into the mulcher.

Miscellany   (11/23/01)
Most of the town's 350 residents already be holdin' heat. They passed the measure 'cause they feared their sacr'd secon'amen'ment rights might gonna be plucked, though there was no apparent instigation of, or indeed rational explanation for, the fear. Wonder who complained before they shot 'em.

Good for the Pilgrims   (11/22/01)
The drive back to Redding on Wednesday night was a moose, what with so many of the folks who normally would have flown deciding to drive to their Thanksgivings instead. The normal ninety-minute drive from San Francisco to Sacramento was five-'n-a-half hours. I listened to my colleagues and stayed into the evening to work on the program.

Foursome   (11/21/01)
It was an act of mindless selfishness and stupidity that affected huge numbers of people who were going about their lives with enough concern about the state of the world to have to endure the added and unnecessary disruption by this thoughtless cretin. People missed appointments, blew opportunities, lost income because of this man. Vacations were lost. Some people couldn't get to once-in-a-lifetime events. And all because this primitive was breaking rules so that he could go to a college football game.

The Point of Sale   (11/20/01)
I'm all for tidy piles of books, but when you see the same folks making a line for several minutes, you've got a problem, pal, and if you don't do something about it, you're gonna make your customers wonder why they are squandering their hard-earned time and lucre in your establishment. For the time it takes me to park, wander the store, and then to stand in line, Hey, I've long covered the cost of postage, and often saved sales tax.

Women for Oil   (11/19/01)
Okay, I'll get off my soapbox. But consider what an extraordinary turning point in history this might be. If suddenly the women of the world said, No more second-class citizenship. That through the Internet and fallen veils, there suddenly began a sea change of freedom for women that even the princes and emirs couldn't stop.

Disjecta Membra   (11/16/01)
Another negative about driving are the trucks, whose sleepy, drugged, and angry drivers think they know the road but make mistakes. Like the ole fellar the other day, hauling forty cattle on the rain-slicked asphalt at fifty — he says — when the signs said forty. He was only slightly injured, but several cattle were killed, and traffic was blocked for hours. No doubt he's already back on the road again.

Items    (11/15/01)
A not surprising rejection by Israeli Airlines of a request by ultra-Orthodox Jews of priestly heritage that they be allowed to fly inside body bags to avoid becoming "unclean" when traveling in planes over Jewish cemeteries. These folks aren't supposed to go near cemeteries anyway, and a recent ruling by their higher-ups accorded air rights, so to speak, to the cemeteries, as well. It was they who suggested the plastic body bags in flight as a solution.

Our New Friends  (11/14/01)
There is such an enormous chasm between them and us. It's not like we can just ship in a bunch of Pokemon and Prilosec and all will be hunky-dory. These people have different interests and concerns, probably not wholly in line with our own. We will have to find a meeting place, where we can mitigate their bellicosity and perhaps even situate a few opportunities to raise the dismal levels of sub-species consciousness.

Sifting for Facts  (11/13/01)
They describe the man as an "opportunist", as in taking cover from all of the September 11th furor, but they don't indicate why he is doing this. What is it an opportunity to accomplish? Drop bigger bombs on Afghanistan? Solidify support for Israel? That's not clear. They do think the mad mailer is a loner type — hey, honey, wanna come see how I mix up anthrax in the bathtub — and probably inoculated himself before he started messing with the stuff.

Bits & Pieces  (11/12/01)
We've apparently scored enough to get the Northern Alliance jazzed. They've been going up against the Taliban tanks on horseback. Probably not entirely by choice, but apparently with enough success to claim significant territorial gains. We live in such crazy times. Doncha jus' gotta think that the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are gonna come out against our allies.

Domestic Crusades  (11/9/01)
The other hand belongs to someone else, and it is behind my back. Not holding a gun, or at least not pointing at me; but They could. They are ready to dip into my pocket and look in my wallet, listen to my telephone conversations, check out my email and voice mail and garbage. I hope They and those who would supervise Them have the sense to distinguish between people who are dangerous to the laws and principles of the United States, and simply people they disagree with on social and political issues.

The Hound of the Busterville  (11/8/01)
As fond as I am of most everything Sherlockian, this one hundred year anniversary I will celebrate quietly, likely unshaven, with my wife and dawg, nicknamed for the occasion, The Hound of Busterville. He puts up with a great deal, but as he's forgotten how to hunt, he puts up with it. But no, I won't make him wear my deerstalker hat this year.

The Aught-One Vote  (11/7/01)
When I heard how high the turnout actually was, before I received some perspective from the county clerk, I thought, way-cool, they're not just pasting flag decals on their trucks. They're serious about our country. There was plenty of time to register to vote since the attack. Wouldn't it have been a fine show of patriotism had the polling places been crowded with new voters from sea to shining sea?

Amo...Amas...Amat...  (11/6/01)
Much of our primary language — the roots of which are essentially European — is constructed from Latin, just as much of our scientific jargon is from Greek. Not a lot of young people today would opt for a year of Latin, even with great legs dangling from the desktop, but it certainly would make for a more educated, thoughtful, stimulated society fs more people understood the real meanings of just half the words that came out of their slack-jawed mouths.

No Lights On  (11/5/01)
If there is an essential task of parents it is to kindle and grow that mind. But when the parents don’t do their job, if the child shuts part of its consciousness, it’s not likely to be resuscitated; certainly not to its original potential. The regrettable fact is that some people don’t grow this integral part of themselves. For reasons usually found in early childhood, they decide that it is safer, or otherwise better for them, not to reach out, but to withdraw, to cocoon, to hide in a shell.

Falling off the Sword  (11/2/01)
I had lunch today with my pal Bruce, his lovely wife and their brand new daughter. She was born four days after the attack, in a changed world. Bruce, who's a dear, thoughtful fellow and well-grounded in aikido and other Eastern ideas, has a serious need for this world to get its act together, for their lovely young infant. We won't be here when she is our age. We have to make sure that the planet she inherits is as gloriously munificent as the one we arrived at a half-century ago.

No Avenging Angel  (11/1/01)
Is it possible to disassemble who we are to the extent that we might unravel some knots? Or is our mental structure so tightly wrapped that we could never find our way deep enough? Is our organization of thought tied up so far back in our development that it is inaccessible? From my experience, the answer is possibly. From the looking I've done, I'd say we can get closer to the trigger mechanisms of our learned-or-not "instinctive" responses.

Miscellany  (10/31/01)
Luckily, she was in a row back, and the fellow who did sit next to her was Jack Sprat. But it seems to me unfair that people over a coupla hundred pounds — fat or not — should maybe have to pay for two seats. My suggestion: a chart by the gate, such as the charts that show the size of a legal carry-on. This chart for people. If you're too big so that you would encroach onto the next seat, bang-zoom, you bought it.

Falling Like Bombs  (10/30/01)
According to new surveys, public confidence in the conduct of the war against, um, against...the war in Afghanistan is dropping with the bombs. In both the U.S. and in Great Britain, our staunchest ally. Apparently a whole lotta folks are realizing that the bombing is doing very little to hurt the Osama and Taliban. At the same time, concern about the germ warfare being waged without a wrinkle on our soil is proliferating like spores at the post office

Bits & Pieces  (10/29/01)
Haven’t we seen this before? Remember how our warships pounded the German defenses in advance of hitting the beach at Normandy, and how fierce was the German fire still. More recently, the Soviet Union thought their superpower superiority would win the day in Afghanistan, and they are no longer a country, let alone a superpower.

Weak-End News  (10/26/01)
I’m just gonna hazzard a guess that I’m right about this, because it’s only a surmise. But if you are a fellow news-traveler who watches the wires regularly, you can almost tell when Friday afternoon rolls around on the East Coast. The headlines stop changing as quickly. By mid-afternoon West Coast time, it’s like every editor in New York has put up a screen saver that says "went to head" and has slipped away for a coupla elbow-bending cold ones at the local quafferia.

Powers of Observation  (10/25/01)
The big problem in science is that our little white lab-coated friends set up their experiments to test a hypothesis, and very often have a range of results — in not downright specifics — already locked in as probabilities. Which is fine in certain circumstances, but can be very limiting in the overall warp-’n-weft of real-life events.

Leaves and Sand  (10/24/01)
I was asked recently if I thought the greatness of our country was in our geography. I opined that as extraordinarily wonderful as is the land from sea to shining sea, it is more the people that defines what is special about America. It's not that you can't find fine people everywhere, but there is something special about their deliciously-purposeful, freedom-ringing spirit that has been recognized by observers around the world from our very conception as being uniquely American.

Security Succor  (10/23/01)
Linda was flying back from Los Angeles, and found herself sitting next to a drunk. When she made it plain to him that she was not to be his conversation piece, he turned to a young man on the other side. When the fellow was equally unresponsive, the drunk became abusive, calling him a possible terrorist. The young man summoned the stewardess, who told the drunk that if he continued to bother the man, she would have the pilot turn the plane around.

Reaffirmation  (10/22/01)
For those of you who think it's wiser to stay at home, on the ground, not opening your mail, um, you may be smarter 'n me, but you're missing some fine opportunities. There are cheap seats and lotsa deals on rooms in a lotta places where normally it would be more expensive to go and to stay. Also, and this has nothing to do with our post-terrorism era, I had a quite decent meal on the plane coming out, which is not a reason to take a trip certainly, but might pry open a rusty corner of the mind.

The Less Friendly Skies  (10/19/01)
Under dire warnings of security lines stretching into the next county, I dutifully got to the airport this time two hours before my flight was to depart. Twenty minutes later, I had not only parked my car in the long term lot, shuttled to the terminal and gotten through security, but I had bought tea and a muffin and had parked my butt in one of a vacant sea of seats across from my gate.

Paternal Muster  (10/18/01)
What little I know about my father's own path, has mostly come through my sisters, who, irony of ironies, don't get along with him nearly as well as I do. As I live 3000 miles away, and have for the past two decades, my relationship with him has developed through distance and absence. I think in his own mind he thinks I've changed, and perhaps I have. He has mellowed a little, and isn't as tightly wrapped as he used to be.

Between War and Peace  (10/17/01)
The point is that from our airports to our mail system, our country is in teetering on the edge of chaos. The economy is in a tailspin, even though some wishful-thinking propagandists trumpet less-bad news as good news. That's like saying everything is fine when you've fallen off a cliff because you haven't hit the bottom yet. But I have a plan that will help staunch the red ink hemorrhaging, and get our nation back on the right track again.

Ow Meow  (10/16/01)
He's in cat heaven, Linda remarked matter-of-factly. She was referring to Mr.Cat, the grey feline who'd been her cat for twelve years and on Friday went missing. He didn't show up on the counter begging for Linda to share her milk. He didn't meow his way between my legs insisting that I divert from whatever I was doing to feed him again. He was an outdoor cat in a rural area which features coyotes, mountain lions and bears.

Ready, Don't Aim, Just Fire  (10/15/01)
Of course, these things happen, when you have all these bombs and missiles and you're playing war games -- they call it training -- something's gonna go wrong. Like the Iraqis hitting our naval vessel with the Exocet missile killing three dozen American sailors. Oops, sorry, 'cause that was back when Iraq was on our side against Iran. Or like when one of our naval vessels blew an Iranian civilian airliner out of the sky by mistake.

Cybercychosis  (10/12/01)
You should be able to reach a smart computer or a warm body if you hit "reply" -- no bogus addresses that don't go anywhere and no redirection to confusing web sites. If you hit "reply" and type "remove" on the subject line, your e-address needs to be (1) plucked from their files, and (2) they need to notify the source of that address that the addressee requested removal of their name the list.

Miscellany  (10/11/01)
Driving down the interstate, we passed a bunch of trailers and campers, which you do when you're driving eighty and they're driving seventy, or more slowly. Whether self-propelled or lugged by large pick-up trucks, these hulking pod-like creations are like aluminunized armadillos, half-shimmying, half- waddling their bulky way between the lines. There is certainly nothing sleek about them; not a hint of alacrity or poise.

Faux Columbus Day  (10/10/01)
I know that Ole Chris has lost some of his shine, what with his slaughtering Indians and stuff. And a lotta folks think he falsely upstaged the Vikings, while others rue that he was himself upstaged by Amerigo Vespucci, name-wise. Fol and de-rol, the undisputed fact is that he sailed to the Western Hemisphere when most people didn't have a notion that it even existed. I would put that at the top of my Columbus list.

My Wind and a Prayer  (10/09/01)
It is almost too much to hope that mankind — what we fondly refer to as civilization — will retool into a peaceful world community. Not so long as guns and money control the program. It may just be, however, that despite my ineptitude at forecasting better weather — my wind and a prayer — I just can't imagine that we've come all this way to fail. At some point, we need to take control of our lives, and live in harmony with the grass and the rain and each other.

Bits & Pieces  (10/08/01)
The leak spewed almost 300,000 gallons of oil onto two acres of surrounding wilderness, and the clean-up effort will be massive. It is an example of how thoroughly vulnerable we are in this country. Imagine if the ACLU, Jane Fonda, and the gay baby whales were really mad us, as Jerry Falbadly has warned. You don't want to imagine what real terrorists might do.

The Constraint of Terrorist Moles  (10/05/01)
Perhaps most important is that it is the safest, most logical course of action, since while we have been unable to infiltrate the terrorist organizations, they have likely got moles in all of ours — the CIA, FBI, and NSA, and all the other letter jumbles that spend huge sums to be left in the dark. Since the alphabet organizations would know of our plans, so would the terrorists.

On Yer Own  (10/04/01)
That last epistle went out just before it was time to make dinner for Linda, and as I clicked the send button, I felt something of an internal sigh of relief. The kind that comes from serving up that three-two pitch with bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth. Except of course, in this situation, I want to hit a home run not strike out. The pitch is on the way.

Taking Off Hump Day  (10/03/01)
Wednesday, by the way, is named for the ancient Germanic god Woden, who was considered Mercury-like, for his quickness and eloquence. Another good reason to have the day off, so that we can attend political debates and other sporting events. Which makes the point that leisure industries would surely back the idea.

Kabul Rescue Mission  (10/02/01)
I caught a CNN clip of an Afghani man beating a woman in the street because her veil had slipped. Commented a CNN observer, it was as though he were beating a farm animal. Not in my world. People don't hit living creatures that way. With such contempt and brutality. There is a suggestion floating around the Internet that Osama should have a sex-change operation and be forced to live under the Taliban.

Shame on Manuel  (10/01/01)
Linda tried to buck up Eyad's spirits. She suggested early on after the attack that he change his name and lose his accent. I understand her viewpoint, and if he wore a beard and turban, I think conformity might be the better part of discretion. But I happen to like his accent, and think losing it would be a bridge too far in the wrong direction. Most native born 'Mericans don't speak as goodly as Eyad.

Heart of the Community  (9/27/01)
A couple years ago, two young men, brothers, allegedly shot to death two men, probably for the men had been in a relationship for sixteen years. The trial has been postponed until next year, but much of the evidence against the brothers has come out, and it will be tough for them to escape conviction. Facing trial by the feds for setting fire to several synagogues in Sacramento, the brothers recently pleaded guilty to various counts and received substantial sentences.

Collaborating with Nature  (9/26/01)
I realized that the shift from confrontation to cooperation was really at the very core of human beings. And that this transformation we find ourselves in — New Age, Aquarian Conspiracy, higher consciousness — is about a revolutionary change in our psychic posture. Instead of regarding each other as competition — which probably traces back to primitive times and scarcity — we want to view people as collateral assets in a significantly larger venture than simply putting food on tonight's table.

Danger and Opportunity  (9/25/01)
I'm all for rounding up every terrorist. Step one should be to petition the World Court to stop terrorism, enfranchising it with the power and resources to arrest, try, and punish world criminals across the globe. That way, the world would know that justice is being done, and we wouldn't have to suffer the victimhood of their revenge. Also, if they don't get them all, well, we can reconsider our position then.

Back in the Air  (9/24/01)
On the day of the bombing, all aircraft were ordered to land immediately. The Cessna Skyhawk in which I had earned my instrument rating had been grounded the nine days since. The windshield was dusty, and the battery needed a boost to turn the prop. This I discovered after a longer than usual pre-flight check of the aircraft. There was no evidence that it had suffered during the hiatus. No bird's nest under the cowling, which happens sometimes, just over night.

Messages for the World  (9/22/01)
There was a bright spot at the end of the week, a supra-media star-studded television extravaganza featuring many of the top names in entertainment. They sang, they talked about acts of heroism, and raised funds for the victims. There was no applause -- Congress, take a lesson -- and no posturing, just sincerity, humility and heartfelt contribution. And the script was remarkably intelligent -- Bush, take a lesson. One codicil, if they raised a million dollars for each of the victims, it would be what the Pentagon spends in a week.

Scoundrel's First Resort  (9/21/01)
The problem is that just because someone has an opinion — even though they have a perfect right to it — doesn't mean what they think is worth dried spit. Even when the whole dang country is madder 'n a Texas twister slappin' rattlers and wants blood, the fact is that not everyone is ready to shoot first and (not) ask questions later. A huge percentage of proud-to-be Americans are quite ready to wait until we know who should be on the receiving end of our vengeance.

Reflections at a Golden Age  (9/20/01)
Five times I was wrong, so far. I'm pretty sure that Saturday was the last time we'll see triple digits this year, I told her. Er, um, she began to protest, but backed off when I reminded her that it was my birthday and she didn't have to protesteth too much. (Well, it wasn't really my birthday, but there's a zone around the actual day, which stretches from Stonehenge to the International Dateline.)

Everyone into the Tent  (9/19/01)
In truth, the only way to respond to the mindless slaughter is to make sure that these people didn't die in vain. What greater memorial could they ask for but that they shall be the last victims of such terror? That the world shall come together to make itself inhospitable to those who would cause such unnecessary grief. Let's start there.

Like a Good Penny  (9/18/01)
Sometimes they arrive for an intense few weeks or months, like a professional gig or an amoral relationship in the seventies. But there are others who show up, and you think they’re done, but they show up again. If only to keep me on my toes — to be alert for more surprises — there are folks who with a phone call or now an email will insert themselves into my consciousness, and derail whatever is my then train of thought.

An Uninformed Democracy  (9/17/01)
If Jennings, Brokaw, Rather and the other seven-figure primpers had told us about the mercenaries and psychotics we hired to fight the Soviets in Afghanistan, we might have objected at the time. Instead, taxpayer dollars went to the training and arming of these beyond-the-fringe extremists who are likely the ones responsible for the hijackings and murder.

Course in Justice  (9/14/01)
The state of California requires that people who want to renew their concealed weapons permit have to take a re-education course. Not to catch up on any changes in the law, but, ostensibly, to make sure that people who have such permits know what they need to about gun safety. I say ostensibly because most of the people up here in the rugged North State think the only reason for the requirement is to discourage people from renewing the permit.

Let's Get This Right  (9/13/01)
That's why this notion of war is not a practical one. As quickly as every wants to declare war, though on whom is a nagging issue, the fact is that we can't fight one that we can win. After nuking Kabul and Islamabad and the West Bank, we're still going to have upset survivors elsewhere who will vow revenge.

Early Observations on the Bombings  (9/12/01)
The cowardice of attacking civilians instead of leaders -- even when those citizens are enfranchised to elect those leaders -- is the depth of depravity. The only possible deterrent is to raise the personal cost -- suicide is not exculpating — and at least one observer suggests that summarily executing the immediate families of the terrorists might have effect. Perhaps their entire family. Or their village. Or their country. You don't want to leave anyone who might retaliate to our retaliation.

Delving the Depths  (9/11/01)
We talked about politics, as in the Greek meaning of the word, management of the community, and rued the way it plays out in Redding. How big money interests dominate most decision-making, which is probably true in most places, but how here in Redding, there is little to balance it out. Where, I ask, is the voice of people who say we should simply consider what is the right thing to do? The silence is deafening, even with all of our churches.

Items  (9/10/01)
The DFG managed to put the kibosh on a measure that would have allowed people to own ferrets. "There's almost a ferret psychosis in the Department of Fish and Game, and I just don't understand it," said Jeanne Farley, Executive Director of Californians for Ferret Legislation. "But like any civil rights issue, when you have so much right on your side, the issue just won't go away."

Who Is Redding?  (9/07/01)
The guy's plan all along has been to drag Redding kickin'-'n-screamin' into culture-land, and he is viewed as arrogant and conniving for his efforts. His goal is to make Redding as a destination city for a class of tourists above the beer-barfing jet-ski yahoos who play a not insignificant role in the community's financial well-being.

The Stevenson Mind  (9/06/01)
I remember the election of ‘56, and how we were the only folks in the neighborhood to sport a Stevenson bumpersticker. I was six at the time, and too young to have any idea about who he was, only that we were outside of the mainstream. The beginning of an endless stream, it seems. But with this note from Paul, I skimmed through some of Stevenson’s quotations and was duly impressed by not only his depth and grasp of the then-and-still critical issues, but also his wit.

Thar He Blows  (9/05/01)
As I don’t know the root of my fury, I have a modicum of distress that it will continue to manifest itself in such occasions until I learn how to prevent eruptions. Indeed, their only purpose is that I might learn more about myself so that I know where from comes the force, and how not to have the experience actually surface. And wouldn’t it be grand to know how to channel that energy into something productive instead?

As the World Throbs  (9/04/01)
This has been the foundation reason for the Cold War for the past half-century, but it defies reality. The Russians wouldn't want to invade Europe anymore than we would invade Canada. Europe is Russia's primary trading partner. They are culturally bound. And the only way Russia could hold Europe is if everyone was dead, which kinda doesn't make a lotta sense when you think about it.

Econometric Malfeasance  (9/03/01)
The fact that these trimmings of the corporate waistline are happening in such large lops at so many companies in so many different industries suggests that a lotta economic prognosticators were suckin' on the same pipe. Perhaps inhaling the intoxicating fumes from the smoke-'n-mirrors campaign the Bushies ran last year. The same puffery about how well the economy was doing that the Gore propaganda machine spouted.


Purposeful Parenting
  (8/31/01)
It is difficult for me to let off the hook the parents of children who bring guns to school and shoot up the place. Whatever their reason for having children — or for no reason at all — they have created offspring which/whom they are failing to teach the rules of social intercourse. Inevitably, the lack of societalization results in a congenitally-haphazard approach to the physical kind of intercourse, and the cycle continues.

Scoundrels and Tragedies  (8/30/01)
At risk of being slotted as a racist, or of losing my already-tarnished liberal credentials, I do believe that there is such a qualitative difference between breeding and rearing ensuing generations. I think of my sisters’ children, who are all exceptionally bright and wonderfully talented. My sisters and their husbands invested themselves and the caring required to produce marvelous young people any of us would cherish as friends.

Items  (8/29/01)
This is offered as background -- mostly not relevant probably -- to a small news item about the selection of a new head of the local Martin Luther King Jr. Center. He's not black, he's white. And he's a Jew. Kinda cool, methinks. They have also renamed their organzation -- Shasta County Multicultural Center. Such openmindedness could only occur in a small community, where people are more about people than dogma.

The Southland  (8/28/01)
Freeway seems like such a misnomer. There may be no cash toll, but the cost in time, fuel, pollution, and patience must be enormous. Multiply that by the millions who follow this script everyday, many beginning hours before dawn and not getting home until well after dark. Surely this is not an indication of good mental health. Where the way is clear, many people make up the time, flying down the pavement, slashing across lanes, at more than 80 miles-'n-hour. A preponderance of them are young women driving tin cans.

Miscellany  (8/27/01)
No one should be surprised to learn that Milo has a history of mental problems. His wife told the press that things get a bit dicey with her husband when he refuses to take his medicine. Uh, huh. So I’m wondering what the flight school musta been thinking to take him on as a student. Perhaps Cuba’s foreign minister put it best when he said Havana realized that this was not deliberate provocation and promised to returned what was left of the plane, "down to the last screw."

Bits & Pieces   (8/24/01)
The Vatican research team has compiled a 35,000-page dossier on Mother Teresa in their ponderous plod toward beatification. I don't think they probably included much of Christopher Hitchins' writing on the subject. This is always sorta a done deal from the start. But that's a lotta research; overkill, one might say. Like the military. Don't air it out; drown it instead.

Required Volunteerism   (8/23/01)
No, I don't think they just sit on their fat butts watching television all day, although a number are certainly afflicted with sloth. Considering the cycle of poverty, ignorance, and violence, ya gotta think that The System is not entirely successful in inducing welfare recipients to raise themselves. The current make-over rate is dismally low, probably under 20%. Which suggests that there is a certain endemic element which lacks the motivation to rise above dependence and needs to be coerced off the couch.

Heaven on Earth   (8/22/01)
Another interesting perspective I recently came across in "Chop Wood, Carry Water" when I opened it up again after many years to show the contents to a new friend. There was a short piece about a man who found himself in a new world where everything was taken care of for him. But he had no work. He had thought it was heaven, but discovered it was hell. Indeed, what is the point of consuming precious temporal resources if we are not making the best use of our whole being.

That Bird Can Hum   (8/21/01)
The orange, pink, and lemon gladiolas — sprinkled by a soft shower from the humble life-bestower — shouted "free food and HBO" or something like that; enough to attract a hummingbird at tea time. I watched the flaring of the tail features as it stuck its snout down the throat of the achingly ripe flowers, scratching at the petals with its delicate claws, it’s wings thwupping helicopter-like 50 to 80 times a second, intoning its obvious if inferred joy at the glad reception.

Same Train, Different Stations   (8/20/01)
What has happened over the past two years? The tide of my hope has risen and fallen and is maybe rising again. My faith in a quick transformation is slipping precariously over the lip of reality. I've lost twenty pounds. And I can fly in the clouds. Most has been discussed in writings along the course. There are no major revelations to announce, flack-like, on this coincidence of completing a second circuit 'round the sun.

Pretty Little Plowshares  (8/17/01)
Linda has her eye on what is currently referred to as The Gun Range. It’s the remainder of shelf that was carved out of the sloping hillside on which was built the foundation of the house. Extending about a hunnert feet past the hot tub and the edge of the existing garden, this area was once used for target shooting. Perfect for the practice, the ledge descends into a deep gully, and on the other side is untrammeled woods.

Bits & Pieces   (8/16/01)
An unidentified elderly couple drowned on an erstwhile flight from the Florida Keys to Cuba. They chartered a small plane that advertised mile-high sex, and once airborne, tried to hijack the plane to Castro-Land. They struggled with the pilot, and spun the plane out of control into the sea. The pilot got out. His passengers, who apparently inflated their life preservers inside the plane -- against all recommendations -- went down with the ship.

Sanity and Survival  (8/15/01)
What if the world community discovered that a sizeable minority was professing deistic adherence to the notion that the world was going to come to an end? And if a central point of this belief was that all infidels were expendable, and that it was glorious to take a bunch with you on your way to meet your maker? Could the rest of the world community say, "Now look, this isn’t working for us. You have a right to share this planet but not to impinge on the rights of others to live here as well." What if that message didn’t get through?

Degrees of Ornery  (8/14/01)
I’m glad I’m mostly here at the house working, instead of dealing with the oven as one may aptly describe a car. The air conditioning takes a while to chill out the interior. A lotta folks put screens behind their windshields, but whether to block an insignificant amount of sunlight or to make a fashion statement is not always clear.

Rectal Flashlight  (8/13/01)
Maybe it’s just my paranoia, but it looks like the whore’s review is cheapening yet further, as their editorial approach seems to be shifting from meaningless to offensive. They have always filled a third of the front page with something eye-catching, usually flames, crushed vehicles, plaintive Christians, or bright flowers. And their headlines are equally market-driven, with banners about stem-cell research, to incite the overly-holy, or trenchant observations like "Consumers looking for discounts."

Miscellany  (8/10/01)
For those of you who think I’m too hard on the fishwrap that masquerades as a local newspaper, uh, uh. I only report a fraction of their transgressions. For instance, beneath a photo of a bull on his last legs in Pamplona, they headlined "Killer cutlery." And then beneath a photo of officials surveying the work-in-progress at the new food court-to-be at The Mall, they headlined "Grub Hub".

Vacation from What  (8/09/01)
I can appreciate that it’s summer, and a lotta folks think that means kickin’ back, but I’m a tad concerned that George the Younger needs to get his batteries recharged. Apparently life is tough for a globe-trotting figurehead, even though he was doing little more than putting in appearances and trying, futilely, to remember his lines. Remember all of the naps that Reagan had to take?

Items  (8/08/01)
When I read of a new dinosaur having been discovered, my mind immediately metaphorized to the Republican party, and that paragon of anachronistic thought, Tom DeLay, who seems to be on the wrong side of almost every issue. The House Majority Whip, DeLay recently commented on the abundance of oil and gas in our country, more than enough to resolve any energy needs: "We have unlimited supply. We just haven’t found it."

Mourning Television  (8/07/01)
In a coupla hours, I was treated to Judge Judy — who plumbs depths Dr. Laura never imagined, and in a more grating voice, if you can imagine — and two Judy-wannabes, doling out judgements against the dumbest and sleaziest people they could get to perform. Even if none of their stories was true, the fact that they would present themselves in such sordid circumstances stretches the bounds of credulity as well as decency. Sex, drugs, and serious crimes.

Bits & Pieces  (8/06/01)
It’s tough when the boss puts his foot in it, and tougher still when the boss is The Veep and it is the White House that has to make the correction. Said Cheney in a Fox interview, "If you've got an organization that has plotted or is plotting some kind of suicide bomber attack, for example, and they have hard evidence of who it is and where they're located, I think there's some justification in their trying to protect themselves by preempting."

No Privileged Confessions  (8/03/01)
I certainly don’t know if the teen was telling the truth, or whether the guys who did the time had done the crime; the judge didn’t think so. My issue is that as holy as anyone wants to get with religious rites, the fact is that criminals should not be able to confess their sins, get absolution, and leave others in jail. Nor, for that matter, should a man of the cloth be allowed to withhold information about a crime, even when other people aren’t convicted for that crime.

Flying Low with the Press  (8/02/01)
"Hey, Audrey, was that your student who flew to Cuba and landed upside down?" I was referring to a new student pilot in the Florida Keys who had taken off on his first solo, after only two weeks of training, and instead of circling the airport and coming in for a landing, he had flown 100 miles to Cuba where he flipped the plane over trying to land on a beach. "No," responded Audrey, "but Charlotte (not her real name) just made an off-airport landing."

Free Expression of Ignorance  (8/01/01)
The problem with charging racism all the time is that it deters people from discussing real problems, as it alienates the very people most likely to have something to contribute to finding solutions. Concomitantly, the hesitancy to call a spade a spade breeds tacit acquiescence to lower standards which telling the truth would help to raise. The result over the nearly four decades since the passage of the Civil Rights Act has been an exorbitant decline in our public education process, and only marginal improvements in the daily circumstances of many people whose plight was being addressed.

Crime Beat   (7/31/01)
The day after the wedding, mom shot the new bride in the head twice, for which the 47-year-old was sentenced to consecutive terms that will keep her in prison for at least the next 35 years. The new daughter-in-law survived, though the two bullets are still in her skull, and so she spends her days watching television and looking forward to her physical therapy. She and Winn’s son have initiated divorce proceedings, by the way, and there will be a custody issue over their three-month-old. Do the math.

Bits & Pieces   (7/30/01)
One of their reporters thought to try out his version of style in a front page article on Redding firefighters suing the city to force arbitration. He wrote his lead as "One-point-two million dollars. That sizes up the gulf between the city...." But in the next paragraph he reported that while the city was offering $3 million, the firefighters were seeking a $4.8 million deal. Musta been a typo; no one’s math is that bad.

Getting the Message Or Not   (7/27/01)
One of the best action films ever made, "The Guns of Navarone", was on TBS, which has gotta stand for "Too Bad, Sucker". The movie runs 167 minutes, and the network ran it during a three-hour block. No, they didn’t shove in only 13 minutes of commercials; more like three times that much. And where did they get the time? They chopped out pieces of the movie.

The ReF-Word   (7/26/01)
If you’ve never done it, wiping everything off the hard drive can be an emotional experience. Both bad and good. It's wrenchingly physical, and also expiating; at least for someone like myself who spends countless hours using the computer to write, design, create, and sometimes make money. It would be like removing the personality of C3PO.

Yo, Nephew   (7/25/01)
Remember that you are never in that much of a hurry. Nothing is worth an accident. You don't want to hurt anyone else, or cause others to screw up and get hurt. When you get angry or frustrated, as you inevitably will during your time on the road, just take a slow, deep breath down into the bottom of your belly, and say to yourself that you hope that the other people around you also keep their calm. You don't want to be part of someone else's accident either.

T-Not-for-Tony Ball   (7/24/01)
Most adults would like to play by those rules, so it is somewhat ironic that the children don’t seem terribly engaged. Not one of the players in the several games I attended appeared to have any awareness about what was going on around him or her. Indeed, few of them were even watching the game, and if any of them understood what was going on, it didn’t show in their play. I say that descriptively, not pejoratively; that’s where I would have been at that age.

Dear Sierra Club   (7/23/01)
You folks at the Sierra Club are particularly ostentatious in your solicitations, sometimes sending 9x12 envelopes. Hey, recycle ‘til the cows come home, but wasting paper is wasting paper. Your approach is getting so old-hat that few people probably even open your mail anymore. I have a post office box, and after checking the farrago that fills it every few days, I wind up dropping most of it unopened into a trash receptacle.

Bush-Lite Bumblers   (7/20/01)
It would probably be unfair to blame George Bush for the entire mess that is the first eighth of his administration, even though he holds the title of Chief Executive. In truth, the man is little more than a figurehead, Cheney is in charge, and those under him making and implementing the decisions in his name show all the finesse of a ham-handed harpist. From pushing Jim Jeffords out of the Republican party to the spy plane fiasco, their record is one of unnecessary missteps and glaring omissions.

Bad Condit Discharge   (7/19/01)
I think it’s probably natural for men to be attracted to attractive young women. As Nero Wolfe observed, it’s not thinking but the activity of nerves in the spinal column. Human beings, when acting responsibly, manage those urges. Those who fail to demonstrate that basic level of social conscience should be ineligible for leadership.

War Consciousness  (7/18/01)
"Why don’t we just bomb them into the stone age?" I suggested with youthful exuberance. My father looked down, as he did when I did something egregious, which sometimes seemed like breathing. He would gather his thoughts briefly and then look at me coldly. After a moment, the truth would be delivered. My mother would simply show her sorrow, mostly that I had failed again, and a lot because she didn’t like to see my father so unhappy, especially with his son, again.

SFO: Surely Fogged Over  (7/17/01)
The solution to San Francisco’s airport problem lies elsewhere, as in geographically. As in, where the fog doesn’t live on the ground on a regular basis. The best answer is to create a new airport facility further away from the coast, and develop high-speed rail lines from it to Oakland, San Francisco and San Jose. Just as other cities around the world have done; because it is the most practical answer.

Bits & Pieces  (7/16/01)
The incident touched a nerve felt around the world, but it still took six months to catch the man. Also, when he was in the Navy, he had been seen clubbing a stray dog to death. Good for the judge, that he ignored the county probation department’s recommendation for probation instead, based on his "taking responsibility" for the crime. Makes ya wonder what it would take to trip their trigger, and who else might be slipping through their cracks.

God-Bothering Boxes  (7/13/01)
I’m not a religious person. My parents weren’t, nor were theirs. Most of my sisters aren’t, nor are their children. That’s not to say there isn’t a lot of virtuous fiber woven throughout our family; these are morally muselix folks if there ever were any. But it’s more thoughtful and deliberate spirituality than the kind they feature in church these days, and likely always did. And that makes sense when you think about it.

Rub-a-dub-dub  (7/12/01)
Miss Jenna, who reminds me of Patty McCormack in The Bad Seed grown up and grown clever, didn’t have to appear in court, per state law; she was represented by an attorney. How nice for her. Let’s sanitize this experience as much as possible. President’s daughter or not, ya gotta think that anyone who gets into trouble with the law should have to appear before the bench; especially young people. Not having to appear makes it all appear to be some sort of game.

Burp If You Love Fido  (7/11/01)
Ya gotta think that if cats and dogs had been of a more economical size, we’d likely be eating them as we do now cows and pigs. Can’t you see the drive-thrus advertising purrfectly delicious cat sausages, and best-bark-burgers? Of course, that raises the question of what we would do for pets, now that the erstwhile be sitting on our plates all au gratin.

Bits & Pieces   (7/10/01)
Under the heading I’m-from-the-government-and-I’m-here-to-help-you comes this item about the Secret Service trying to get back fake money they’d given to film makers for use in their movies. Ain’t gonna happen that all of the ill-lucre is returned. About a billion dollars worth was blown up during the filming of "Rush Hour 2" in Las Vegas, and some of it got away. Into the hands of people not associated with the filming. And what did they do with it? They spent it.

The Lame-o from Modesto  (7/09/01)
The blood is in the water. Republicans are eyeing this conservative district as a possible gain in 2002. Democrats are also checking their rosters and weighing candidates according to political primogeniture and/or pocket depth. Even if the young woman turns up with a good explanation that doesn’t involve Condit -- hey, he can dream, can’t he? -- Condit must be only days away from acknowledging what everyone else already knows -- that his political career is over.

The Mis-Humane Societies  (7/06/01)
One guy went back to the armored personnel carrier they were driving to get a pole and a net. They managed to nudge the critter from his perch in the tree, and when he fell, it was on top of one of the men, who handled the situation without a hint of plomb, shaking and gyrating, certainly not the way they taught ‘em in Racoon Apprehension 101. And the racoon got away.

On the Path   (7/05/01)
I think of the Charles Shultz Peanuts character, Pigpen, who was constantly surrounded by a cloud of dust; was he bringing it with him, or was he being carried by it? Are we each living in a unique bubble of time-’n-space circumstances, with only so much real choice? Is our range of options limited to a pre-destined route? Yes, you’re going to San Francisco, but whether you travel the Interstate or the back roads doesn’t really matter.

Bits & Pieces   (7/04/01)
From the "Ca-Ca Occurs" file, Lucerne Valley (CA) School Superintendent Jim Wheeler had one of those days when the unemployed parents of five burst into his office, handcuffed him, announced they were making a citizens’ arrest, forced him into their Chevy Blazer and drove off. Deputies stopped the Blazer after what must have seemed ten very long miles away, and freed Wheeler, who escaped the whole mishagosh with only some wrist rash.

The Nature of Nature   (7/03/01)
Over the past several days I’ve noticed a great number of birds outside my window. They’re coming for the water in the dishes beneath the plants on the deck. I suppose word gets around the avial grapevine somehow; especially when it’s so dry so early. Now I must figure out a plan to keep Mr.Cat from enjoying their company, too.

"Everyman"? We Wish  (7/02/01)
People said that Lemmon portrayed America’s "Everyman"; sometimes funny, sometimes serious. Indeed, his characters often pushed themselves out of comfortable nests, whether it was Felix Unger escaping his cleaning obsession or Frank Pulver taking on the captain. Though the demons might have seemed small and personal, the journeys were about conscience and consciousness.


I'm Sorry, We're Dead
   (6/29/01)
A new telemarketing center opened in Redding, and I’m told that the parking lot sees more drug-dealing than the average school yard; and the hard stuff. Oh kind sir, maybe they have to be meth’d up to take the rejection. Aha. One of these days a flavor-of-the- month quack is gonna go on Ricki Lake and call it Aggravated Telephonic Syndrome, suggesting maybe these people could get workman’s comp, or sue themselves for a gazillion dollars.

Medi-Skill  (6/28/01)
Also in the first go-round, the authorities found a bullet lodged in the skull, but unable to determine a recent entrance wound, didn’t have reason to declare that it was the cause of death. When the body was shipped to a university lab, it was discovered that there was a second bullet in the torso. Which makes suicide ever so unlikely, and has prompted the sheriff’s office to consider the death "suspicious".

Items  (6/27/01)
It’s too bad Mexican authorities don’t read our newspapers. Or maybe they do. For whatever reasons, they have decided to hire the FBI to upgrade their own law enforcement investigating-type skills. That’s like Russia asking NASA to help them put a probe on Mars.

Now Through the Clouds  (6/26/01)
If you’ve ever climbed off a smallish boat onto terra firma, you are probably aware of the experience of sea legs. You feel kinda wobbly, as your legs try to adjust to a stable, non-rolling environment. Same thing happens when you climb off a trampoline. And for me, it can be hours since I flew, but when I’m sitting at my desk, one of us is gently rocking back and forth. I think it’s pilot.

Bits & Pieces  (6/25/01)
Pardon what may appear to be coldness, but one must think there had to have been signs that this woman was a bit over the edge. Like the suicide attempt two years earlier. Another clue, though to what I don’t know: the children were named Luke, Paul, John, Noah and Mary.

Mad about Maddy  (6/22/01)
She is Maddalena Serra, the proprietress and the creator of some of the finest food to ever grace a palate. She also does a little radio and has her first cookbook coming out this summer. Plus she tends a garden out back that provides special treats for her diners, and when she’s not running, hiking, working out, yoga-ing, and has time, she paints, and does so marvelously. Not everyone who knows how to cook has a good eye; Maddalena does, and it shows in her art on the walls of her restaurant as well as on every plate set before her grateful patrons.

Higher Ideals   (6/21/01)
The fear of losing one’s moorings is a dangerous disease, and it seems to be approaching epidemic proportions. Public life is looking loonier than ever. The standards of behavior that were once a given have become porous. This is not a good thing. Laws don’t matter a whit if the members of the society don’t have a basic allegiance to the underlying premises of these laws.

Nucuelar Disarmament  (6/20/01)
Bush is quoted as saying "I had no idea we had so many weapons....What do we need them for?" which is good news that he’s concerned about it, but it is not a terribly encouraging indication of how much he knew and knows about this ship ‘o state at which he is at the helm. Maybe it was a proverbial wake-up call, and the man who pronounces the word "nucuelar" will actually do something about the obscene proliferation of this lunacy, promulgated in large measure by his father, particularly in his role as CIA chief, when he doubled the estimates of Soviet strength to force higher U.S. armament.

A Real Beaut  (6/19/01)
With the exception of Linda’s victory in the Miss Fontana beauty contest, um, just a coupla years ago, I’ve never thought such events did a very good job of identifying what was truly beautiful. Almost by definition they would select some chippie who looked as plastic as Barbie. Maybe all the parts in the right places, perhaps an exuberant abundance of smile, but nothing engaging, or usually even alluring about her. Perhaps they think we are still looking for a princess for the pedestal; more likely the psycho-goddess of chaste.

Bits & Pieces   (6/18/01)
Also criminal-ish, Columbia Pictures has had their pants pulled down for the second time in a week. First it was learned that in their film promotions, they quoted a critic saying favorable things about their movies, only the critic was a pigment of their imagination. Now it turns out that in their broadcast commercials they used their own employees pretending to be movie-goers who had just seen and were now gushing over a Columbia picture.

That Ain't No Burnin' Bush  (6/15/01)
Speaking in Madrid on the first stop of his European sales tour, Bush called the 1972 ABM Treaty "a relic of the past." Not to pick nits, but few relics aren’t from the past, unless you’re talking about Strom Thurmond or Jesse Helms. And there are a whole bunch of relics (from the past) that a lot of people respect, like the Magna Carta, not to mention the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

Opportunity for Change  (6/14/01)
If the lord high judge were shining beneficence on Shasta County, he would say, drop the charges against the lawyer ‘cause the whole mess has gotten messier. Then he would say, Guys, I think we need to look at our police training again, with an eye toward better equipping the officers in matters involving people who are distressed and agitated. It may be that they have good cause for their discombobulation, and empathy would serve better than aggression.

No Skin Off This Sheep  (6/13/01)
So what does the Skool Stuperintendant do? She lowers the bar to 60% for language and 55% for math; for these are junior high questions. Instead of 90% of the blacks and browns failing, 75% would. You can imagine all the folks what would be jumping up and down, and screaming about how this is a racist commie conspiracy and not fair. Hey, don’t take my temperature, Doc; I’d rather not know.

Prey of Peace  (6/12/01)
There is some irony in the grossly primitive nature of both "sides" in that they’re fighting for a patch of sand that is truly only esoteric in value. And I think back to a friend’s comment about the Falklands War, when he said that if they had taken all of the money spent fighting and divided it among the populace, they all could have taken their share and gone to live as rich people somewhere significantly more habitable. Perhaps Kosovo, Haiti or the Sudan.

Up, Up and Nearly Away  (6/11+/01)
My first thought was oops. High winds make it difficult to hold heading, and much of the instrument work on which I was to be test meant flying racetrack holding patterns and narrow course lines and set altitudes. My second thought was, Well, if there is a wind, it will give me a better test.

Death Be Not Loud  (6/11/01)
Of course if we really wanted to punish McVeigh, we would not put him to death but have him live out the rest of his days in a small concrete cell, with just enough to sustain him. Until he would likely kill himself. But maybe there’s a need for terminal-type closure here, as in no more pulse. At least it will help to put the outrageously exorbitant coverage to rest.

It Does Take Rocket Scientists  (6/08/01)
NASA is more about public relations than space exploration, and the proof is in the putting; the putting of people in space when machines would get there faster, accomplish as much or more, and for a lot less money. A lot less. Fully 90% of the money NASA squanders is spent figuring out how to make a mission human-possible. They believe that unless they use live bait, the media will ignore them.

The Evil that Men Do  (6/07/01)
It’s one of those lines that sticks somewhere in the cerebellum and won’t go away until it’s had its way with you. Some lines have been planted for more than forty years, and every so often I will hear them replayed in the mind’s ear. What brings this to mind is looking at a newspaper clipping and a note I’d made about another story.

Three for the Seesaw  (6/06/01)
Every now and then, one comes across a lead sentence in a news article that tells the whole story. Such clever writing is rare, in part because there are so few new stories that lend themselves to such capsulization, but mainly because most by-lines are held by reporters, not writers. The New York Times is known for its writers, and I’ve earlier quoted Steve Erlanger who wrote brilliant pieces on Chechnya, including one with the line, "If Pyrrhus were a Russian, he would recognize the landscape."

Consider the Source  (6/05/01)
Sometimes people say something that is just so beyond the pale that one must infer that the speaker has suffered a synapse detour. I think of Cruz Bustamante, California’s Governor-Lite, whose tongue curled wrong-ways ‘round the letters and he said the "n" word in a speech. Or The Boy from Hope saying he didn’t inhale. Or Slick Willie sayin’ he didn’t boink The Plumb Beret. Or Hillary Clinton saying it was a right-wing conspiracy.

To Friends Departed  (6/04/01)
Both men stood outside the norm, remarkable in their openness, and thus challenging to those who would remain hidden. Both men set standards to be lived up to, though neither forced them on others. They are missed by good people, which is the sign of having made a positive mark out of a lifetime.

Don't Spin the Bottle  (6/01/01)
It could be very useful for parents everywhere to learn what drove the Bushettes to drink. Something did. As it reportedly did their father, though since he won’t talk about it, it’s hard to know what effect, if any, it had on his daughters. Mr. and Mrs. President might want to have a private life, and they should, to some extent. On the other hand, they were elected to the White House, with Laura and the girls performing the role of dutifuls during the campaign. It wouldn’t be difficult to make the case that they were probably the margin of victory for Bush-Lite.

Bits & Pieces